A movie about an unconventional teacher (the great Robin Williams) who found his way back to his old school and taught his successors a very valuable lesson. The movie had a quote-worthy line every five minutes (Although I've forgotten half of them already). Totally inspiring, all that "carpe diem, boys!" stuff. It reminded me of Mona Lisa Smile, especially the guy whose parents never listened to him - his coup de grace was kinda parallel to Julia Roberts' student who married right away despite all her words about independence and following one's dreams (I guess when critics wrote about Mona Lisa, they compared it to Dead Poets. :p). Ethan Hawke and Lara Flynn Boyle were so young... and bonde! ;p

Right after watching the movie I had the irresistible urge to go out and do whatever I please. So I went to bed and dreamed. LOL. The movie was all about seizing the day, which, maybe, is my own philosophy and explanation for all my reckless and impulsive tendencies. Haha. Being young is great - you can worry when you're older. I hope when I finally get kids, I won't forget the things I went through as a kid - maybe my blog will still be up by then?! haha!

Speaking of kids (and Mona Lisa Smile) - I remember in that movie that Julia was disappointed with the other Julia because she still ended up as a then-conventional housewife. But then what if that really is your dream? What if being at home is really something you want to do? The feminists and the power movement caused homemaking to appear as something lowly and sublevel against "real work" such as corporate positions and stuff, because you get no monetary salary from it and it demands 100% of your time. But really, that's not fair, because housework and raising up kids requires as much - and even more - skill and talent and time and dedication, plus love. if there were no good parents, there would be no good people in the society. I have a declaration to make: being a parent - a mom - is one of my life goals. I intend to work for a while after college, but I really look forward to having kids. As in really. Haha. I guess it's all part of my doting nature. maybe deep down inside, I'm really just a simple person. hehe. some people, when they hear me going on like this, think I want to have a baby right now. Whoa. haha. ;p

Was in Cubao again yesterday - more clothes! hehe. I really need to dedicate a post to them soon... >.

because I'm gonna be talking about "bygone" things. ;p and they're definitely not bygone after all. hehe.

Never Gone... Just Want You To Know




What message are the Backstreet Boys trying to send on their new video? I imagine something along the lines of "We're kings, we've been around longer than you thought we would be, you thought we would die, but we did NOT!" :p I guess they've earned their right to do whatever they please, established as they are. Although their anitcs seem somewhat senile... hahaha. I was pretty amused while watching that new video. they're so old, man. But they still sound exactly like they did over a decade ago!!! haha. Long Live Boybands!!! ;p


J o h n J o e .... *drool* (harhar)



I have a huge crush on John Joe right now, that thin, semi-geeky-looking konyo boy from the south (Alabang, that is)... heeheehee. I'm back to feeling that uncomplicated, fleeting, yet utterly intense attraction. Haha. Sometimes, you'd wish it were always like this, wouldn't you? Highschool!!! :) But he's so cuteeeee.... harharhar!!!

>> Kanta of the moment. La lng. :)

"So Pure" - Alanis Morissette

you from new york you are so relevant
you reduce me to cosmic tears
luminous more so than most anyone
unapologetically alive knot in my stomach
and lump in my throat
I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure such an expression
supposed former infatuation junkie
I sink three pointers and you wax poetically
I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure such an expression
let's grease the wheel over tea
let's discuss things in confidence
let's be outspoken let's be ridiculous
let's solve the world's problems
I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure such an expression

My mom has created her own friendster account! LOL. heehee. There was a time when this would completely freak me out - "darn, she's snooping again!" - but these days, hehe. whatever. :)

100% Purebeef! yay!

maki-BACA na! Hehe. I feel pleased that I'm already on the list even if I am just one sem old. Heehee. Finally, my blog's getting some recognition... har.

The Bingo game was a relative success, org-wise, but for me it was shit. argh. Hayun lng, same old issues. I did a little rant here, but that's just one of my "problems" at the moment. argh. Haha.

It took me a day and a half to read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood prince. People really just can't put Rowling down. Haha. review? I suck at making reviews. But... darn, I guess. Harry Potter is Harry Potter, the seriously lucky kid. hahahahaha. How come he gets everything? LOL. Oo nga pala, fictional superhero lang siya. Hehe. All I can say is, I can't wait for book seven. Yeah. I wonder how Rowling's gonna end this? heehee. Never mind the fourth movie. After Azkaban, my expectations kinda diminished. Hehe. I've been seeings stills everywhere on the web. yun lng. :)

Random thought: Bakit kapag may kausap tayo sa phone, or katext, tapos tinanong tayo, "Sino kausap mo?" O kaya gumala: "Sino kasama mo?" ang sagot natin, "Wala lang, si - ." O kapag kinukumusta tayo: "Kamusta ka na?" ang sagot: "Wala lang. Okay lang." ang lungkot no? kaya tuloy lahat tayo, nagiging mga wala lang. Kaya ang mga buhay natin, nagiging wala lang... :,(

A little dead snake turned up at our doorstep the other night *shiver* it was creepy enough when it's dead. We think the cat got it. Snakes are really scary. That's all.

I was in Cubao the other thursday. Ukay. hehe. will be posting pix soon. :)

The recentest barrage of piks here... :) sige na! tignan mo na! :)

Chinese Sandmen,
Old and wise,
With soft dream-songs
Close our eyes.
And queen of all their lullabies
Is a maid with almond eyes.
On her ancient moon-guitar
She strums a sleep-song to a star;
And when big China-shadows fall
Snow-white lilies hear her call.
Chinese Sandmen,
Old and wise,
With soft dream-songs
Close our eyes.

- Chinese Sandmen, Author Unknown

The Sandman's a pretty powerful entity. when he scatters his magic dust into the velvet sky, no one can escape his spell. i mean, no matter how hard you try to open your eyes and try to keep awake, when you gotta sleep, you gotta sleep. even when you successfully pull of an all-nighter and come to class the next day looking like a zombie, you can't help nodding off in class. even those people who call themselves insomniacs still fall asleep at some point during the day. we try to escape the sandman's clutches at night, but it always catches up with us. :)

We people are different when we're asleep. Our faces lose their carefully contorted expressions, our hands drop their guards, our mouths fall silent from well-thought lines and opinions. And we're always dreaming. We're all always dreaming when we're asleep. and the things we dream of are probably things that others - and we ourselves - do not expect to dream about. People are so vulnerable when they're asleep. when we're unconscious of the real world, that's when we become what we really are. we are not society's machines after all. we're human beings with hopes and fears and desires and vivid imaginations. and bodies that tire after hard work and hard play. and long for something warm and soft at the end of the day. Like a pillow. or a teddy bear. or another human being. :)

my sister is the kind of girl who is always "put together". this morning, before she went to school, she took a bath (of course). then she spent at least ten minutes blow drying her hair and deciding what updo she'll sport today (madalas depende sa "event" sa school. hehe). then she put on some lip gloss, cheek tint, and powder. then she sprayed on some cologne. then a few more minutes in front of the mirror, convincing her self that she looks OK already. Laging ganun. every morning. ritwal. walang labis, walang kulang. :) i'm like that too, because i'm a girl (even though I spend more time on the clothes ;p ), but ahlee takes it to a different level because she takes pains to make sure that when she comes home from school, she'd still look exactly the way she did that morning. o di ba? :) and she's never a klutz or scatterbrained like me. whatever composure she exudes in her physical appearance, she also manifests in everything she does. Never a wrong remark or a faux pas, or a ridiculous trip. and i totally admire and respect her for that, though sometimes i think it's rather tedious. i'd much rather not care. LOL (look where it's taken me, harharhar!!!).

but when she's asleep, she's just like everyone else. calm. nakayakap dun sa maliit niyang pillow. and you know what? she's always dreaming aloud. She'd turn over, then start talking. "Bakit ganyan? Ano yan? Ha?" Sometimes she'd give orders to an invisible kausap. I'm usually still up when she does that, and i'd just smile when it happens. sometimes I try to talk back, but she never really hears me. the the following morning, when I ask her what she dreamed of, she says she doesn't remember. Perhaps her sleeptalking is a side-effect of her being ultra-poised? :) I can only imagine what she dreams of.

I think sleeptalking runs in my family. maybe i talk in my sleep, too, but they've only caught me a few times because i usually stay up later than everyone else, and i wake up earliest too. :) My brother paolo is also a loud dreamer. minsan, tumatawa pa iyan ng malakas. nung bata pa siya (at super chubby!) ngumunguya pa sa panaginip. nananaginip siguro ng pagkain. haha. Si ahloy, tahimik lang matulog. siya ung pinakamasarap matulog sa amin. :) if it's a noteworthy coincidence, i think he also has the fewest "issues" among the four of us. ayun. :)

>> Tulog na tayo... :)

Satellite - Natalie Imbruglia

Do you lie awake
In the morning
Trying to find
A reason to call me
'Cause honey
All that I've been doing
Is thinking about your smile
But none of this is necessary
With me baby
You see baby
'Cause I like to
Keep it all simple
'Cause you are my
Satellite
So I'm trying to
Keep you in sight
But with all this space
Can we keep it alive
Keep it alive
So I'm asking you baby
Are you coming down tonight

There's something
In the air tonight
That feels right
But you're keeping me
Guessing and I'm
Finding it hard to
Catch your eye
So move a little closer
It's all right
I know
What you're thinking
You've been circling me
For a while

>>remind me for the umpteenth time that our computer is prone to hang-ups so i should always write my blog post draft on word before i post it here lest i lose everything i've been rambling about for the last twenty minutes. shit talaga. tinatamad na tuloy ako magpost. later, or tomorrow na lang.argh.

>> still asking where the hell that efried is....

words, words.

From now on, stop focusing on making the extraordinary ordinary. Make the ordinary extraordinary. :) -me.

Math is not in our vocabulary. Vocabulary is our math. -Kaloy. this is our bloc shirt motto. :D

the word "fuck" was an old medieval acronym that adorned the doors of those privileged few who could get permission from the king to copulate... (i wonder what would happen if everyone who wanted to have sex these days had to go get a permit slip from the president... oh man... ha! ;p). it can be considered an artifact of western history, laden with old-world elegance... harharhar. right? but then... why is it considered such a vulgar, dirty word these days? and why are we common people, uh, degrading it? why say "fuck you" to people whom you detest? why say "fuck" on every damnable situation? it's more appropriate to say "screw" or "shit" or "oh, man" (like i do :D). right? so you better reserve those two words for when you really mean it. LOL.

It feels nice that i'm still on cahoots with my dear pals... so i haven't morphed into a monster altogether. i thought if we all went away we'd change and we'd never get along like before... but we all still rock! :) brand new experiences, different looks... but we all still kick ass. lol.

that wise man was right: who needs romantic notions when friends are there? :)

at least for the meantime. lol.

what's up with this whole relationship thing anyway? everyone's so worried. i mean, do you really have to be someone's boyfriend?

hmm.

hey, before you go thinking i'm being all pro-feminism here... i'm not. i'm just... wondering. lol.

decent update to follow, m kinda beat. the bingo game, my lone shopping trip, dana, tins, lils, anne, rach, the works.

feels nice to be home. :)

Here comes sembreak, and i am bored and lazy. and to highlight the whole matter in bright flourescent pink, ahlee is busy with everything (as usual) and bolle's making a mural. so i really am the lone bum here. hahah.

we're gonna have our Bingo game tomorrow, so i hope it doesn't rain (i wasn't so bum today, i actually helped out in the preparations.)

I look at myself and think, "What a waste."

Because i was too busy worrying about the superficial things.

>><<

get up from your bed, you bastard. have you died?! where have you been while i was away, hm?!!

where the hell are you now?

WE'RE FREE!!!

no pontification necessary. :) even though i still have certain things to deal with, i am in vacation mode already. I am ready to catch up on everything i missed out on during the sem. heehee. :) hayunn. hmm. i'm here at home right now. i really feel good. lolz. what's up, what's up? man i ain't who i used to be anymore. i always say that, don't i? damn. :) wala lang. ano ba talaga ang gusto ko sabihin ngayon? siguro gusto ko lang aminin na nangungulila ako. hehe. ang wirdo talaga. until now i still can't figure him out. and weird thing is i am not that bothered. i think. basta. and then there's the other him, who is probably getting the totally wrong message. i think he is thinking of something that is totally nonexistent. hey you, wake up. but am i really that mixed-up? nyay. anyway. F. where the hell are you? :)


it used to be my bed, but i've proven that old habits die hard. apprently, i've managed to carry my packrat-slash-clutterbrainedness to the dorm. and as i was looking at it (as opposed to cleaning it up), i can't help but wonder, asan kaya ung hinahanap ko dito? it seems that the thing i really need cannot be found in my immediate surroundings. i need to clear up the cluttered ideas in my head. :)





i seem like such an egomaniac! i was practicing angles and stuff. now i want to become a professional photographer... hehe. i want to take pictures of everything. :)

technically, yesterday was my last night here at elbi for this sem, and so to end it with flair, we drank juice (juice my foot, lol. harhar!) and stayed up late in the dorm. some of they guys still had exams for today, so we can't go out... and we've broken curfew waaay too many times (eep!) already. they all really thought it was funny, me making kulit on Mildred and playing with the candle and the teddy bear and all. hehe. whatever. i'm kind of pissed with myself because i zonk out pretty easily... pero that's the purpose of the whole thing naman, ayt? to get zonked. ha. never thought i'd be this. nyek! On retrospect, mebbe i should excercise more self-control next time. the other last time, well... har.

so how was my first sem? was i really able to accomplish everything i needed to accomplish?

was i great?

was i me?

***

anyway. next sem, i need a portable planner.


***

i am feeling a bit melancholic for some reason. it must be the sight of my huge bags ready for the homebound trip. a realization: i brought way too much stuff that i don't need, and forgot to pack those things i really needed. Like more self-control.

***

(",)(",)(",)

eto na! nhux!

we finally did it! :) aira, camille, mildred, and I have been raring to do some "real" jamming - you know, with the guitars and drums in an actual studio. the nearest one we heard of was in Mayondon (still in Los Banos) - and we went there yesterday after my Math1 exam. ANG SAYA! (never mind the math exam. lol!) :) that was my first time to rock it out in a studio. Camille did drums, Aira was lead, Millie was vocals and rythm, and I was bass. yeah, i was bass. ang bigat nia, grabe. but we were playing together! we polished up that song that mildred and aira wrote - "Laya". Next time, i want to share my songs too. heehee. ang sarap ng feeling. i want to be better on bass. and guitar. and piano. harhar. >.<

this day was so completely hot.

>><<

so, like, he was not dissuaded enough.

oh, man.

long overdue piks. :) love em. :) just wish uploading them was not so expensive... :D

I am, like, so weirded out. i don't know what to think.

I can't help but feel a little... hmm.

anyway.



a series of pictures that my friend rupert mandated on me to take and upload on his friendster account. :) this guy was one of the first real friends i've made so far here in UPLB, and we just really get along so well and tell everything to each other. he likes the piks... because he looks so pretty, or so he says (um, let's just say we both like the same kind of sandwiches... get? :D)i took the last pik when he was not looking, and it's my favorite. rupert does not like it because he looks too gwapo daw... *ubo* *ubo*...



and then i do not know what was up with me that day, but that night, i also did a sketch. i don't think rupert would mind or think of anything perverse, so that might be the reason why he was a nice subject.



my dormmate star sporting my ubercool sparkly scarf (it's new).


mildred and aira (Eve Clef!) goofing off. :D





we interviewed the "kropek" kids at the SU building last friday for our SocSci1 project. they're a fixture around the UPLB campus: kids lugging around those huge plastic bags or styropor containers, selling the gamut from chips to C2 to macapuno. The other groups in our class interviewed politicians and big-time company owners, and i thought it would be fun (and darn easier, harhar) if we interviewed kids - because they are the people who are gonna grow up and become those renowned people. (like me. nyek) i actually learned a lot from them. i thought they would be all raucous and street-thug (you know, those kids rapping to double-meaning "songs" and sniffing rugby and screaming obscenities) and we wouldn't be able to get a single quotable sentence from them, but they're actually really smart, good, and hardworking kids (ung isa nga nananalo pa sa interschool competitions!), who really care about their family and their future (i mean, so that was why they were working.) ang saya nila kausapin. i was surprised to discover that there are still real good kids today. that there are still people who hope for simple things. I really wish that they grow up to become what they want to be. they totally deserve it.



pwede ba naman na wala ako? :D i finally got to master the shadow thing... i did that during a brownout. :) i still have to modify the contrast and stuff though... later!

ever had anyone make a song for you? :D hmm...

it's just that being kick-ass and wised-up sooo does not suit my personality. i want to keep on feeling young and innocent and optimistic, but hell, i guess i am not much like that anymore.

damn, i just want people to LIKE me. isn't that so, so deluded?

why am i like this anyway?

i feel like such a big blustering MISTAKE. harumph.

i just want to be warm.

>><<

this is so cheesy, i sighed. one minute i am totally dissing all romantic notions,next i am gushing over preschoolers' ideas about love.go figure.

>><<

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6

>><<

somebody help me out!